Maybe This Time
by amberissmiling
Summary: Lucas wonders if he can convince Brooke that she's the one he's always loved...or if she'll push him away again.


She was asleep but she wasn't resting.

Lucas pulled the blanket up around her, stroking her hair as she mumbled. He knew she was exhausted; she'd finally cried herself to sleep. When she'd found Angie's monkey lying on the floor she had completely broken down. He had promised to mail it to the little girl first thing in the morning, but she wanted to take care of it herself. Of course she did…she was Brooke Davis.

He looked around the living room they were in, smiling when he found a picture of the two of them. He'd always loved that picture. He knew Brooke kept it as a reminder of their friendship, but he couldn't look at it without wondering why she was always pushing him away- why she would never let him love her the way he wanted to.

Out of all of them, Brooke had grown the most in the past few years. While the rest of them were so focused on their own lives and what they needed to do, Brooke was making sure everyone else was okay while still taking on the world. She'd come home for Peyton, given her the money to start a record label. She was there when Jamie needed her, or when Haley was having a bad day. She was there for Millie and Mouth, always ready to listen or to talk. And she was always there, reminding Lucas he needed to smile. He wondered if she realized that she was the glue that held them all together. Probably not.

He hadn't had a lot to smile about lately. He missed Lindsay, but he had to admit that she hadn't been his first choice. He'd wanted Brooke. He'd always wanted Brooke, but Brooke was always pushing him away, towards Peyton. And now Lindsay had done the same. He'd stayed drunk for two weeks, angry at Lindsay, angry at Peyton, angry at Brooke. Mostly, he'd been angry with himself. Why was he letting other people dictate what happened in _his _life? Shouldn't he get a say?

He must have made a noise because Brooke lifted her head, groggily looking around. She looked up at his face, blinking sleepily. "Luke?"

"Hey, Pretty Girl," he told her, smiling softly. God, she was beautiful. He'd never met her equal. "I didn't mean to wake you."

Brooke sat all the way up, pushing her hair out of her face. "No, it's okay," she told him, her voice still hoarse from crying. "I didn't mean to fall asleep."

"Can I get you something to drink?" he asked.

She shook her head, looking around the room. "She's really gone."

Lucas winced at the pain in her voice. "I'm sorry."

"Me too," she said, sighing. "Thanks for staying, Luke, but you can go home now. I'll be fine." She started to stand but he grabbed her hand, stopping her.

"Just for tonight, lean on me." She started to say something and he shook his head. "Just for tonight," he whispered. "You can be strong tomorrow."

Brooke's chin quivered. "I can't lean on anyone," she said softly.

Lucas cupped her face with his hand, his thumb rubbing her cheek. "Trust me," he pleaded quietly. "Believe that I'm here for you and that I always will be."

Brooke leaned into his hand, closing her eyes. "Until Peyton needs you," she said, taking his hand and putting it on the couch. She opened her eyes and looked at him. "And we both know she'll need you."

"What if I need you, Brooke? And what if you need me?"

Brooke shook her head, her heart hurting. "Why are you saying these things, Luke? What's the point?"

"I'm tired of watching you take the world on by yourself," he told her. "I'm tired of standing by and watching you fight alone. Let me help you. Let me fight with you."

Brooke stood, wrapping her arms around herself. "I don't understand what's going on," she told him, "but I know that Peyton loves you and that you love her. You should go be with her."

Lucas stood too. "No!" he said angrily. "If I wanted to be with Peyton, Brooke, I'd be there now. If I'd wanted to be with Peyton, I could have been with her any time in the last three years. I don't want to be with Peyton," he said, moving closer to her. "I want to be with you. That's why I'm here. That's why I've always tried to be here for you."

"Peyton loves you," Brooke said again.

"What about you?" he demanded. "Do you love me, Brooke?"

Brooke shook her head, tears shining in her eyes. "That's not fair."

"Tell me how it's not," he said. "You were my first love. You're the woman I'm still in love with. Not Peyton, not Lindsay. You. But you always push me away, and I start to think that maybe it's all in my head, you know? Maybe I just want to believe that you have feelings for me so much that I make them up." A tear slipped down Brooke's face. "And then you whisper my name in your sleep. And that one word is filled with so much longing that I know I'm not making it up. You still love me."

"It doesn't matter!" Brooke cried, throwing her hands up. "It doesn't matter if I love you, or if you love me. Sometimes love isn't enough, Lucas. And Peyton needs you. She's a mess without you."

Lucas moved even closer to her, holding her face in his hands. "But I need you," he told her. "I _need _you, Brooke. I need you to make me smile and to push me out of whatever funk I'm in. I need you to tell me the truth when I'm doing something stupid and to call me out when I'm acting like a self righteous prick. I need you when nothing is going right and the only thing in the world that could make it better is one of your smiles."

"Luke…"

"And I need you to need me," he finished in a low voice. "I need that most of all."

"I'm scared," she admitted. "You scare me. This feeling scares me."

"It's always scared you," he said. "And instead of dealing with it, you left me."

"Peyton told me that she was still in love with you," Brooke told him. "I knew it was just a matter of time before you realized it and left me for her. Again."

Lucas dropped his hands from her face and stared at her, blinking. "Peyton told you she loved me? While we were dating?" Brooke nodded. "Why would she do that?"

"So I would break up with you and you two could be together," Brooke said.

Lucas was surprised at the amount of anger he felt. "So all Peyton has to do is want me and I'm all hers?"

Brooke didn't rise to the bait. "Yes," she said simply. "There was no sense in fighting it." Her shoulders dropped tiredly. "Luke, I'm too tired to deal with this tonight. I just lost my baby girl."

His anger was quickly replaced by guilt. "I'm sorry," he told her.

A knock on the door interrupted whatever he was going to say next. Brooke opened the door to find Peyton. "Hey," Peyton said, hugging her friend. "I'm so sorry, Brooke." She looked up to see Lucas. "Oh. Hi Luke."

Lucas nodded. "Peyton."

"I didn't know you were here," she said, looking at Brooke, "or I'd have waited until tomorrow."

"It's okay," Brooke told her. "Come in."

"I'm in love with Brooke, Peyton," Lucas said suddenly. Brooke and Peyton both stopped moving. Brooke stared at him in horror while Peyton looked like someone had slapped her. "I know it's not the time or the place, but I needed to say it. I'm in love with Brooke and I always have been. I always will be."

Peyton looked at Brooke, shaking her head, still shocked. "Peyton," Brooke said, reaching for the other woman, "it's okay, he doesn't mean it."

"I mean it," he said firmly.

"Just stop it, Lucas!" Brooke yelled, glaring at him. "You don't know what you're saying!"

"I don't want to hurt you," he told Peyton. "I love you, Peyton. I do. But I'm in love with Brooke. That's the way it's always been, but she's always pushed me away…because of you. She doesn't want to hurt you, so she's willing to sacrifice her happiness."

"Lucas," Peyton said, backing away.

"Please don't be mad," he said. "Be happy for us." He looked at Brooke. "If she'll ever have me."

"I've got to go," Peyton said, rushing out the door.

"Peyton!" Brooke called after her, looking out the door. "She's gone," she said, turning to look at Lucas.

"I'm sorry," he said, picking up his coat. "I know you're probably mad at me. I shouldn't have said what I did, but I felt like I had to." He stopped in front of her. "I'm still the man for you, Brooke Davis," he said softly, brushing his lips across hers. "And one of these days you'll finally realize it."

Anger, hurt, surprise, happiness…all of these emotions warred within her. She'd fought against her own feelings for so long that the idea of acknowledging them terrified her. But Lucas had done it…and to Peyton. She watched as he walked to the door. "Lucas," she said as he started pulling it closed. He looked at her. "Stay tonight," she said.

"Are you sure?" he asked.

"No," she said honestly. "But I could really use a friend."

"Just a friend?" he asked, moving back into the room.

Brooke smiled a little. "Have we ever been very good at being just friends?" she asked.

Lucas smiled and shut the door, putting his coat back down and walking to her. As they sat back on the couch, Brooke figured that she could call and check on Peyton in the morning. For tonight, she was going to trust her heart and lean on the only man she'd ever loved. Maybe he really was the man for her. He certainly seemed to think so.


End file.
